furious anger to mum about dog?
ByI can’t even describe to you the anger i feel right now. basically my mum absolutely doesn’t like my dog because of something he cannot control. My dog drops a lot of fur, he is a jack russell terrier x wire haired so his breed basically requires him to drop fur. She is sick of the house being messy from the dog hair and insists the carpets are beyond saviour.I suggested i would vacuum the house every week but she said that the dogs hair flies everywhere anyway and the min its vacuumed up, more will come so there is no point. I already groom him regularly but as i said earlier, his breed is prone to shedding fur.
She said that her brothers in china always change dogs as they get older (my dog is currently 4 years old) and u should never raise a dog for its full life, its easier to just send it away to a shelter or someone else and get a brand new, cute little puppy instead. SHE INFURIATES ME SO MUCH with this comment, i am an avid animal lover and believe all animals deserve love and care, not just the ones that are cuter than the others and if u have raised a dog for 4 years, you DO NOT just send it away because it isnt cute or other ridiculous factors the dog cant help such as shedding fur. she says he is useless, has no value as hes a mutt, not pretty like collies etc. and a burden to our home. she said if she had a non shedding dog she would take it for drives in her car but because he sheds fur, she refuses to take him out and would rather him locked up at home if i cannot take him out for a walk. shes been talking with my grandpa to try and convince him the same and he lived in china for 30 years and has different beliefs to westerners (im asian australian) and he also tried to convince me about the beautiful dogs we could have instead of my dog and how cute they are.
BTW my mum is asian and when she used to live in china as a girl, they ATE dogs so she feels no sympathy or attachment towards them clearly. i have had so many huge fights with her this past week and it was mostly stimulated because the dog had jumped on the couch while we were away and because I (it was my fault) didn’t cut his nails short enough, they pulled out some of the wool in her grey jumper and she was pissed off. she started kicking the baby gate we have furiously until it was bent and threw my dogs bed off the balcony.
I have tried countless times to calmly talk to her rationally but nothing will process and she has threatened numerous times that i will come home one day and see the dog is gone. Ive threatened her that i will leave if the dogs leaves so she has to make a choice. i love animals, i love my dog and there is no reason he needs to leave our home because of a biological factor he cannot control. i am someone who doesn’t see the need to send my dog away simply because of something natural such as aging. she said this dog is worthless and there is no use keeping him. shes also made up a whole bunch of bulls**t excuses such as ‘the dog is affecting your studying’, ‘the dog is bad for your health and we’re all going to end up with fur in our lungs’ . TRUST ME do not tell me to try and speak to her calmly u dont know how many times ive done that, what can i do? wat do u think of my mum? I am so angry.
* 22 minutes ago
* – 4 days left to answer.
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EDIT: I AM ALREADY USING A FURMINATOR. it helps but doesnt solve the problem
1 Comments
June 1st, 2010 at 10:41 am
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Stop trying to change her thinking by reasoning with her. Instead, you need to explain how you wouldn’t get rid of her when she gets old even if she becomes a burden and if she thinks you should do that to the dog does that mean its okay to do it to old people too?
It has been my experience that dogs shed a lot of fur which when they are constantly exposed to temperature changes.
If you let your dog get cold the dog will grow longer fur. then when you let the dog get warm the dog will shed the fur. If you don’t want your dog to shed then don’t let your dog get cold so the dog’s fur has to grow then shed.
If you can keep your dog either inside or outside then your dog won’t be shedding as much. Your dog still may shed some, but it will be much less.
You are absolutely right that an animal or person who is cuter doesn’t deserve ;more love than one less cute. I wonder if your mother expects to be thrown out when she gets older so your father can find a younger cuter woman?
You’re right that people who eat a type of animal tend not to get attached to them to protect their own emotions. In places where they practice cannibalism they don’t get attached to the people th;ey intend to eat, either.
I am guessing that your Mom had something happen in her youth that taught her to think the way she does. Forgive her because she probably suffered once and changed her thinking so she won’t suffer again.
People do unto others what has been done to them and that’s why shes doing this to you and to your dog.
I know its very difficult but try not to answer her and when she tells you something politely repeat it back so she knows you heard so she’ll stop saying it. “I understand, Mom, that you feel that I should get rid of my dog because hes getting old but I’m not the sort of person who would get rid of you when you get old. Do you really want to change me because if I get rid of this dog just because he’s getting old, am I to abandon you the same way? What kind of person do you want me to be?”
fShe’ll argue perhaps that its not the same but of course it is. Don’t argue ;further. Let her think about it. Deeply. And then stop talking or answering back, change the subject to something else entirely.